Freezer Foods Friday Guest Post

Today for Freezer Foods Friday, we're injecting some humor!  I'd like to introduce Kelsy of  Polished Portrayal is my guest today.  Kelsey is a military wife and mom who gives us some good info on freezer life of foods, and let's us share in a day in the life of what is hers... oh, and my guess about that mystery frozen food would be sausage, but I'm not sure.  What would you say?

Thank you all for allowing me the opportunity to share our ridiculousness with you, interrupting your regular dose of helpful tidbits and domestic inspiration. This? I just cannot compare to Jeanette. Not even close. BUT, I may be able to inspire you to clean out your freezer. THAT is a strong possibility.

Thanks for reading!
Kelsey
Domestically speaking, I am not Martha Stewart. I've worked my butt off over the last few years and have become a pretty amazing cook when I want to be, but the want to be part is where it gets tricky. And by tricky, I mean I DON'T want to.

Since Rob's left for Afghanistan, the effort I've put into meal preparation has decreased significantly. Let's just say that my motivation to cook for my children is considerably low, considering that they despise everything I put in front of them unless its noodles or dessert. So dinner time consists of a lot of macaroni and cheese as of late. Sometimes? I get super creative and mix in some vegetables, but this is only sometimes. Apparently, the national food guide recommends a few servings of the green stuff regardless of what my kids' opinions are.

Tonight is different. Tonight, I am feeling inspired. Not quite inspired enough to drag two cranky children to the grocery store, but inspired nonetheless. So I'm thinking freezer. The beauty about shopping at Costco is that the packages of meat are so large that I could feed an entire circus- including the man who's born with the physical abnormality of having seven stomachs. Unfortunately, I don't actually have access to any circus freaks, or even my crazy huge eater of a husband, so I have leftovers to freeze every time I cook.

This is all kinds of excellent- it means that I don't have to go shopping, I just have to get creative with what I have.

Hmmmm....

Ten cool points to whoever can accurately guess what this delicious piece of road kill is. Twenty cool points to anyone willing to eat it.

This freezer exploration inspires me to look up frozen food regulations- because really? Once frozen, shouldn't food remain in the precise condition as when it was placed in the freezer? Isn't that a well known fact?

Apparently, it's just a well communicated myth to create a wide spread plague of food poisoning. Here are the facts:

Fruits and Vegetables: 8-12 Months

Poultry: 6-9 Months

Fish: 3-6 Months

Ground Meat: 3-4 Months

Cured or Processed Meat: 1-2 Months

Ridiculous, I know. Why they haven't invented freezers that are able to preserve a product for all of time is beyond me. I mean, really, we have iPads, but are unable to eat? That just seems all kinds of wrong. Perhaps I should look into aspiring to create something of the sort. I could go back to school, become all mechanical, and presto, changeo- I would make millions! I mean really, dinosaurs where successfully preserved for millions of years without any technology. You'd think a frozen chicken could last until my next birthday.

Focus...

I need to make dinner. Sigh. Okay, I have these cleverly labelled chicken thighs, but no date.

Am I certain they've been in there for less than 6-9 months. And what does 6-9 months MEAN anyway? That it should really be in there less than 6 months, but if you're all adventurous and risky, 6 times out of 10, the meat won't kill you if it's at least as recent as 9 months old? And after that, there's a guarantee that you will shrivel up like a dehydrated prune and die?

No thanks, I don't want to take that chance. I may be willing to test it out on the dogs, but... No, animal rights people would be crazy up my butt for that one.

Okay, there's always our old faithful Eggos.

"Payton, what would you like for dinner? Eggos or noodles?"

"Noodles."

Now the test, "What if Mommy made really yummy noodles with a creamy chicken sauce? Would you like that?"

"No. I no like chicken sauce. Just noodles."

Sigh.

I suppose my entire pursuit was in vain. Noodles, here we go. Again.

And in all of the time I'm saving from making noodles every night instead of something crazy gourmet? I am SO going to invent a better freezer. Keep your eye on the local news and feel free to contact me when it's launched. I may be feeling all rich and generous and offer you a deal.

Warm Regards,
Kelsey Hansen

http://www.polishedportrayal.blogspot.com/