Thursday, September 16, 2010

Freezer Foods Friday Guest Post

Today for Freezer Foods Friday, we're injecting some humor!  I'd like to introduce Kelsy of  Polished Portrayal is my guest today.  Kelsey is a military wife and mom who gives us some good info on freezer life of foods, and let's us share in a day in the life of what is hers... oh, and my guess about that mystery frozen food would be sausage, but I'm not sure.  What would you say?

Thank you all for allowing me the opportunity to share our ridiculousness with you, interrupting your regular dose of helpful tidbits and domestic inspiration. This? I just cannot compare to Jeanette. Not even close. BUT, I may be able to inspire you to clean out your freezer. THAT is a strong possibility.

Thanks for reading!
Kelsey
Domestically speaking, I am not Martha Stewart. I've worked my butt off over the last few years and have become a pretty amazing cook when I want to be, but the want to be part is where it gets tricky. And by tricky, I mean I DON'T want to.

Since Rob's left for Afghanistan, the effort I've put into meal preparation has decreased significantly. Let's just say that my motivation to cook for my children is considerably low, considering that they despise everything I put in front of them unless its noodles or dessert. So dinner time consists of a lot of macaroni and cheese as of late. Sometimes? I get super creative and mix in some vegetables, but this is only sometimes. Apparently, the national food guide recommends a few servings of the green stuff regardless of what my kids' opinions are.

Tonight is different. Tonight, I am feeling inspired. Not quite inspired enough to drag two cranky children to the grocery store, but inspired nonetheless. So I'm thinking freezer. The beauty about shopping at Costco is that the packages of meat are so large that I could feed an entire circus- including the man who's born with the physical abnormality of having seven stomachs. Unfortunately, I don't actually have access to any circus freaks, or even my crazy huge eater of a husband, so I have leftovers to freeze every time I cook.

This is all kinds of excellent- it means that I don't have to go shopping, I just have to get creative with what I have.

Hmmmm....

Ten cool points to whoever can accurately guess what this delicious piece of road kill is. Twenty cool points to anyone willing to eat it.

This freezer exploration inspires me to look up frozen food regulations- because really? Once frozen, shouldn't food remain in the precise condition as when it was placed in the freezer? Isn't that a well known fact?

Apparently, it's just a well communicated myth to create a wide spread plague of food poisoning. Here are the facts:

Fruits and Vegetables: 8-12 Months
Poultry: 6-9 Months
Fish: 3-6 Months
Ground Meat: 3-4 Months
Cured or Processed Meat: 1-2 Months

Ridiculous, I know. Why they haven't invented freezers that are able to preserve a product for all of time is beyond me. I mean, really, we have iPads, but are unable to eat? That just seems all kinds of wrong. Perhaps I should look into aspiring to create something of the sort. I could go back to school, become all mechanical, and presto, changeo- I would make millions! I mean really, dinosaurs where successfully preserved for millions of years without any technology. You'd think a frozen chicken could last until my next birthday.
Focus...
I need to make dinner. Sigh. Okay, I have these cleverly labelled chicken thighs, but no date.

Am I certain they've been in there for less than 6-9 months. And what does 6-9 months MEAN anyway? That it should really be in there less than 6 months, but if you're all adventurous and risky, 6 times out of 10, the meat won't kill you if it's at least as recent as 9 months old? And after that, there's a guarantee that you will shrivel up like a dehydrated prune and die?

No thanks, I don't want to take that chance. I may be willing to test it out on the dogs, but... No, animal rights people would be crazy up my butt for that one.

Okay, there's always our old faithful Eggos.

"Payton, what would you like for dinner? Eggos or noodles?"

"Noodles."

Now the test, "What if Mommy made really yummy noodles with a creamy chicken sauce? Would you like that?"

"No. I no like chicken sauce. Just noodles."

Sigh.

I suppose my entire pursuit was in vain. Noodles, here we go. Again.


And in all of the time I'm saving from making noodles every night instead of something crazy gourmet? I am SO going to invent a better freezer. Keep your eye on the local news and feel free to contact me when it's launched. I may be feeling all rich and generous and offer you a deal.

Warm Regards,
Kelsey Hansen

http://www.polishedportrayal.blogspot.com/

11 comments:

  1. Ha! Ha! Ha! Kelsey is amazingly funny!!! Somehow I knew when I saw the mystery frozen...Meat?!...that it would end up being noodles again!!! Great post. I'll have to check out Kelsey's blog regularly now too!!! :-)

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  2. Loved this post and it surely made me laugh.

    I definitely think those dates are a little off though for freezing meats ;) We butcher cows and pigs and that meat lasts us at least a year in our freezers. We used to do chickens as well and they lasted a good year as well. Maybe the dates are only for store bought items instead of fresh because maybe they have already had it in their freezer for 6 months prior to sending it to the store? lol

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  3. Poetess Wug- Thank you, thank you. I am all shades of red from your flattery. If you think this is bad, you should see the things growing in my fridge!

    Tammy- I only did a google search for the info, I didn't contact the health department directly. Isn't anything that's found online guaranteed to be accurate?

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  4. Frozen Mystery - Bacon. Mine looks the same way :D

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  5. Hey P,
    Care for a guilt smashing idea? How about those whole wheat or 'looks like white but are really whole wheat ' noodles? OR the noodles that come in deffoerent colors cu they have HIDDEN veggies in them? Wheeee!

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  6. Atomic Lulu- when I freeze bacon, it's always in the package, so that's one thing that I KNOW it isn't. That's all I know.

    Angelica- Someone explain this to me please. I've investigated the nutritional value of both comparitively, and the fibre is like 0% difference. Hmmmm... There must be more to it than this.

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  7. Oh, the dreaded freezer-finds! I know when my hubs would be away for a few days, I just couldn't get motivated to cook a regular meal. We had lots of pancakes, Eggos, scrambled eggs, etc...but that gets old.

    I CAN cook, it's not one of my favorite things. Thanks for the laugh, and I look forward to your newfangled freezer!

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  8. Sherri- don't expect it to be up and running too soon, okay? I'm just in the designing process right now. I'm expecting it may take awhile to find someone willing to design the prototype.

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  9. Hey, I see LOTS of veg in RyRy's plate! And he looks happy! So either you dumped them in there at the last second for the pic, or you are doing a good job at feeding your lil man his veg.

    As for Payton... will she try stuffed pasta, like tortellini and ravioli? Or is that a no no too?

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  10. Payton is in a picky eating league all of her own. This week, nothing will satisfy but croissants, apples and yogurt.

    Sigh.

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  11. NOTICE TO READERS: New information just received from husband. The meat in question? Moose sausage. Where it came from? Only Rob knows.

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